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Making it to one of Lauren Mayberry’s solo shows had been at the top of my wish list for months. I nabbed one of two remaining tickets only a few hours before a Birmingham gig. After a drink and T-shirt purchase, the lights dimmed and the performance began. Lauren, the frontwoman of CHVRCHES, my long-time favorite band, belted out newly written songs inaugurating the start of a solo career. The crowd cheered and swayed. We were the privileged few, hearing brand new lyrics months before the rest of the world.

I shoved my phone in my back pocket, wanting to fully immerse myself in the moment. But my fingers kept wandering toward the device as if it were magnetized. I wanted to enjoy the show, but I also wanted to preserve it, to look at the scene through my screen and save some of it for later. Could I shoulder my way closer to the stage? Would my phone capture audio decently enough? Could I snap photos using flash without being annoying?

Frustrated by these distracting thoughts, I started to bargain with myself. I’ll record just this song, then put my phone away for the rest of the show. Or, I’ll take a few pictures right now and that’s all. But when the light show started in earnest, I couldn’t help it. I’m a sucker for fog and beam lights.

Read the full piece in Plough.

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